you know, i really don't like facebook. im not sure why i keep signing on to it. it's like high school all over again and that gives me a weird feeling in my belly.

merry merry christmas!!! rum pa pum pum!

a really close friend of mine miscarried on sunday. i am so so sad for her. i also was really worried about how to handle it. we work together too, and i am acutely aware that being around me might not be the easiest thing for her. i donated some money and am having 15 trees planted to honor her lost baby. i sent her an email saying how sorry i was, how unfair it all is, and how i understood if she needed some distance.

i had nightmares that whole night and can't stop thinking about how she is. i worry about how she is feeling both mentally and physically. and i wish i could just bring a blanket over and a pint of ice cream.

anyway, she wrote back the most gracious email i think i have ever read, but still i feel like my role should be a more quiet one around her. i want to let her ask questions about my pregnancy if she wants to know rather than me just offering it up.

in the meantime, i had an appointment yesterday with my obgyn which i walked out of. i really can't deal with his 2 hour wait time which is "usual" for him. it's unacceptable. i am a patient person, but not that patient.

jack and i went to see avatar last night, and i loved every second of it. jack didn't like it as much as i did. he commented that it was like "watching an enya video" which made me laugh. but i loveloveloved it. go see it!

we had our department holiday dinner last night at carmines. it was really yummy and festive and im glad we went there. we went to the one on the upper west side. afterwards, we went to a place called senor swankys for a non-bachelorette party for my co-worker who is getting married on friday. that place was really terrible, but we made the best of it. i drank the hell out of a virgin strawberry daiquiri.

anyway, after all of that food and sugary drinking, i had the worst heartburn on planet earth last night. apparently, when you are pregnant you produce this hormone called progesterone whose job it is to relax the muscles of the uterus. A lovely bonus is that it also relaxes the valve that separates the esophagus from the stomach. oh heartburn - you and i are going to get to know each other for the next half of year or so, eh?

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i saw cara yesterday too, my brilliantly smart therapist. boy oh boy, was there much to talk about and when i walked out of that appointment i felt 100 pounds lighter. and i woke up in a much better mood and can tell that i really needed someone to put some stuff in perspective for me. i am so lucky that she had a baby last year. i am also very lucky to have someone like her who i trust implicitly and is incredibly smart and appropriate and kind.

my mom is absolutely driving me bananas. between all of the stuff she is telling me i HAVE to do in this pregnancy because otherwise i am putting my child in jeopardy and the fact that she wants to spend the day with me in nyc within the next four days (she called yesterday 4 times when i was at the parties), she's going to be the death of me. she only talks and doesn't listen and is the kind of person who doesn't take in to account what might be going on in your life - it's all about her. my aunt (her sister) said to me the other night, "god help you with this pregnancy" in terms of dealing with my mom. wow, i feel really guilty after writing all of that. at the end of the day, i love her - but she's driving me bananas.

well, that's about all for today. i am so happy my boss is back from his 4 week vacation in hawaii. i am back to just doing my job and not two jobs. and i have the morning and early afternoon to myself. im going to go take the pups out now.